I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
