On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
