Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Farmville is her only friend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
