I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
