let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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