Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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