So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
