i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
