dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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