we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I smell stomach acid.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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