just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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