Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
