we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
