then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
