a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's shark week go big or go home
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
