What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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