Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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