I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
