will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
