If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
