i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
