I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
