Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
