i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
