I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
