I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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