My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
