i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
