they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
