He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
