Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
