nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
