Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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