please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
