so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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