just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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