He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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