whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
