I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
