somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
