I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
