i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
