i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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