Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
