I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
