Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
