It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
