How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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