At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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