I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
