he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
